Wonder-woman

and yes, this lovely little wonder woman will be visiting me in less than 5 days. Can't hardly wait!

Most wonderful time of the year!

...and no it is NOT because the holidays are coming up (though, that is exciting to think about).

It is because I get to watch this every single week:

Yes, college football. Namely, Texas football.. I left my house a whopping one time to go running today. Other than that, I was on my couch watching football.

Happy football season!!

Hook em horns!!

Miss Optimism

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” - Bill Cosby

So today I just had to laugh. As you can tell from my post from yesterday, life can totally stink sometimes. But man oh man, I am such a lucky woman. I get to work with the COOLEST people in the world everyday. My clients are quite simply amazing. I have a lot of responsiblities at my job and at times I get flustered and at times even frustrated (gasp!)... But then I sit down to spend time with the clients and I reminded time and time again that life is really simple. Live. Love. Laugh. There was a moment at the end of the day today where I was flooded with such gratitute to be surrounded each day with 27 adults with disabiltiies that has so many abilities that I will never ever have. Not only that, but I come home to such a hunk of a husband who does the dishes every single day! No lie! And... he is so much fun. So cute. So loveable. So smart... The list goes on.

Bonus-- My neice comes to stay with me in LESS than 2 weeks. And that girl ALWAYS puts a smile on my face and makes me laugh. Abbi Lynn, prepare to be super spoiled! (Pictured below with my little sister, Becky)

Infertile Mertile Part II

I have kinda had a downer week. Maybe it is a post-vacation slump. Back to reality. Whatever it is, I know Satan has really been working on my spirits. I wish I had some good news to post. I know people are waiting for me to suddenly make an "I'm pregnant!" post. But it still aint happening.

Every day the yearning to a mother gets worse. I try not to think about it and keep myself super busy with school and work... but everytime I see a baby I am reminded again and again how badly I want to meet my own child. It's the craziest, most empty feeling in the world. At times I feel like a ticking time bomb ready to explode but thankfully through priesthood blessings, I have been able to keep my emotions somewhat in check.

Next step is to go to a super expensive specialist at the Women's center and dip into our savings. So what if we have to wait a little longer to buy a house... if it means bringing a child into our life, right?

We have an appt. on October 1st with the best specialist in northern Utah (so I have heard anyway). Hopefully he can help us figure out what to do. Hopefully he can at least point us in the right direction. Otherwise, I just may punch a hole in the wall. (Ok, not really...)

I read a quote by Mother Teresa the other day that for some reason I really related to. She said "I know God doesn't give me problems I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much sometimes". I think we have all felt that way from time to time.

We are going to the temple Saturday and I can hardly wait. I feel so much peace while I am there... that is one place where I feel real hope. Thank goodness I have the gospel.. and a wonderful husband. I constantly am amazed at how patient, sweet and kind he is to me because it has been a roller-coaster of emotions this past year and a half of trying to concieve.

I know someday I will look back on this whole experience and be grateful for it. I know Heavenly Father is teaching me a great lesson through all of this and I will be blessed for waiting. I am just anxious for that time to come.

San Francisco Trip 2009

We had such a great time in San Fran! I am so glad we invited Zak & Kellee Mudrow to come along with us. They are seriously some of the best friends a couple could ever ask for.. we all just get along so great. We were always laughing at something... whether it be Geoff always managing to get us lost, or Zak & Geoff being totally random & goofy. We spent too much money and probably ate way too much food, but man oh man, it was FUN!!!! Here are just a few of the 144 pictures I took on the trip.


Day One: Alcatraz tour & Pier 39

Day 2: Chinatown & shopping downtown (GREAT shopping there! Wish we had an H&M in Utah...)
Day 3: Santa Cruz Boadwalk & beach & MORE shopping!

Day Four: Fisherman's warf, submarine tour, Golden Gate bridge, Redwood forest

Unanswered answers

Well, doctor called today. All my tests came back normal. No PCOS. No hormonal imbalance. I am not going to lie... this pretty much devestated me. I wanted so badly to find some answers to what is going on. I am pretty frustrated. So, the next step is to go to some really expensive doctors that we will not be able to afford for quite awhile. My first thought was to just give up... But I won’t. Obviously, Heavenly Father is trying to teach me something here. I know this emotional, crazy roller coaster we are going through will someday be all worth it when I look into my child's eyes for the first time.

Thanks for all your love and support. We are so blessed with amazing friends and family. I feel good about how open we have been about this whole process because I have found out we are not the only ones who have this trial and have been able to comfort them as they have comforted me.

Thank goodness tomorrow we are going on our vacation! I need some time to just relax and forget all my worries.

We love all of you and thank you again for your support. It has been a blessing to know we have so many who are concerned for our happiness.

The second love of my life...

...Ok not really! BUT... I do love love love love LOVE Michael Buble'!

His voice is like butter!

I am so excited for his new cd to come out. I will be there on opening day waiting til it hits the stands.

Here is a sneak peek at his new single "Haven't met you yet"

We still got it!

2 years & we still got it!

2 years & counting.

Monday is our 2 year anniversary. Seeing as how we are going out of town tomorrow and will be celebrating on Monday night with a night out on the town, I thought I would write down a few of my thoughts about my marriage.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my husband Geoff. Those who know him, know that he has a heart the size of Texas and that he does anything and everything to make me happy.I am constantly flooded with people complimenting me about how wonderful my husband is. Friday alone, 3 people at work came up to me randomly to tell me how much they miss my husband at work and how wonderful he is.

These last 2 years I have spent as his wife have been the happiest I have ever experienced. I have never felt so safe and cared for. Just this morning he made me breakfast in bed-- why? Because that's how he is. Always doing the most the incredible gestures to love me. I can go on and on about Geoff and why I love him... but I think you all know why I love him so much.

I am so grateful we started out our marriage in the temple. I remember very little about what was said in the ceremony but I do remember the sealer saying how interesting it is that even in the temple, we start off our marriage on our knees. Geoff has always been the kind of man that has been worthy to pray with me each night and take me to the temple regularly. I feel very humbled thinking of all my blessings. I truly have so much to be thankful for. Someday we will be blessed with children, and Geoff will be an incredible daddy just as he is a husband.

Here is to 2 years and for many MANY more to come!

Infertile Myrtle

Today I went back to the doctor for about the millionth time to get some blood-work done and all the other lovely procedures women get to endure (I never wanna hear a man complain-- we women have to go through quite a bit of crap to have children... the monthly visitor, lovely exams, the ACTUAL childbirth..)

The doctor is about 90% sure (her words, not mine) that I have a disease called Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome (know as PCOS). This is a genetically-linked hormonal imbalance that prevents ovulation. She didn't diagnose me because she needs the lab results back to confirm her speculations, but she says with all the evidence given, it is all pointing towards that being the issue.

My mom's first reaction to hearing this news was "I am so sorry Cami". But I am not! No, I do not really want this disease... but at least I know (or will know) what the heck is going on with my body! My doctor is very optimistic about my fertility future. She says lots of people with PCOS get pregnant on certain treatments-- hallelujah! I actually have a good friend with PCOS that just gave birth to her second child. It sucks to have a "disease" but it is good to know why I am having trouble with pregnancies.

She said with my physical activity and the way I eat, I should weigh about 120 lbs and that after I get pregnant and deliver a baby, I can get on treatments that level out my hormones that will allow my true weight to come through--- BEST NEWS EVER! ha ha. I am a healthy weight, but I want to shed off the pudge I have here and there!

So-- now all I can do is wait for the results to see if I actually have PCOS. I should hear by early next week. Keep your fingers crossed that I have this disease! ha ha ha (Have you ever heard of anyone actually hoping for a disease?!)