Before I had ever experienced feritlity, I NEVER thought twice about speaking so freely about when a couple was beginning to start a family.
Now, after everything we are going through, I always think twice before even bringing up the subject of starting a family just because I now know how it feels to be questioned about such a sensitive subject.
This blog explains EXACTLY how I feel & many other women who are experiencing the multiple miscarriages. I cried reading the entire thing because it was like the lady who wrote it was reading my most inner thoughts & feelings.
Five years ago, I experienced the death of a fiance' and thought it was the hardest thing I would ever have to endure. I was wrong. After 18 months of no success of having children, I can attest that this trial is much much harder. ThoughI am grateful for it because I am learning to much about my faith and leaning on my Heavenly Father-- it is still a constant struggle.
If you can't read the whole post here is a small excert that I really thought hit the head on the nail:
"Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal."
I highly suggest you all read this blog post about what it is like to struggle with infertility and to help those you may know that have this problem. I learned a lot from it and wanted to pass it on.
4 comments:
cami. you're awesome for sharing this. more to say, but i will just say it when i see you on wed. love ya.
that is a really nice blog. I enjoyed reading it. I think she hit right on the money with that posting about it being a constant struggle that NEVER goes away.
I think understanding the Plan of Salvation can help b/c it can always put things into a bigger perspective and sometimes ease that pain (just a little). I know it did for me when I had my miscarriage. You are going to have so many blessings for understanding this purpose better than most Cami. Heavenly Father has some incredible in store for you, you just wait! Love you!
Oh Cami. I know how you feel. Remember Keith and I struggled with this for the past 13 years. Although we have 2 kids. Thats all we were able to have. It took us 3 years just to get Kaylee and that was on a ton, a ton, a ton of meds. Its not fun, not easy, and definetly not fair but that is how it was for us.
I know your time will come. This is only the beginning. You will be sure then when it finally happens it will be worth all the wait in the world. I treasure my 2 more than anything. I would of loved to have more, but that wasn't the plan for me. I was talking the other day to my Bishop of my cancer issues and he said something that struck me, and that was that we need to remember that we signed up for this life before we came here. We knew what we were getting into. Its how we deal with the struggle that makes all the difference in the world.
I hate seeing your pain because I have been there, but when it happens and it will happen when you least expect it, you will be filled with the greatest joy you have ever known.
Hang in there. The Lord doesn't give anything we can't handle. You are lucky to have this time to spend with Geoff and getting to know each other better than ever before. Cherish these times because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
I love you guys and keep you in my prayers everyday.
Cami thank you for sharing this. Infertility is the hardest thing I think to go through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I pray that it will happen for you as it finally did for me and I have never been happier in my life than I am now blessed with 2 children. I will never take them for granted and cherish every day with them. Be patient and you will have it too. It took me over 2 years which seems like nothing now, but it lasted a lifetime as I was waiting month after month. I love to hear how you are doing and hope that we can be best buddies when you finally get here!
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