I dare you...

...not to cry. I sure did. Geoff made this for me. Yes, it's totally cheesy but I adore it. 

Cried like a big freakin baby!

Brainwashed?

Maybe.

But he sure looks cute in this UT onesie. ESPECIALLY when Texas beat BYU (it was a close game but we won and that's all that matters right, winning??)


The best part of all of this is, I had a bet with my Brother-in-law, a die hard BYU fan, that whoever lost would have a picture of their child holding a sign promoting the opposing team on facebook.
Thank goodness Payton will not have to do that. 

Phew.

Hook 'em horns!

Staying Home

So many people have asked me how I am adjusting to staying at home with Payton after so many years of being a "working girl". Well, to be honest, I am totally loving it! 

Yes, I am totally exhausted some days after late nights with the little guy, but man, is there anything on earth more amazing than caring for a sweet baby?? 

After wanting this for so long, and working so hard to get my little boy... I will never take for granted the blessing of being able to stay home and be with him. I may not always be a stay-at-home-mom, but for now, it's where I need to be and I am loving every minute of it. 

I mean... how could I not when I get to be with this chubby little man all day?? 

Exactly.

Letter to Payton; Month One

I'm stealing this idea from a stranger's blog that I read. She writes a letter to her daughter every month and I think it is such a great idea. Hopefully I'll be somewhat successful and actually carry this idea out. And hopefully my other children won't hate me if I don't have time to do this for them. My plan is to make blog books since I am a horrible journal writer... we will see how this goes.

Dear Payton,

Welcome to the world my little man. This last month has been both the hardest and best month of my life. You are a remarkably easy baby, but this is still hard work. Possibly the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding.

The day you arrived was a bit of a blur. I remember when they rolled you in to meet us and looking down at you, all wrinkly and small and scooping you up to hold you against my chest -- I was just in shock that you were finally here and that you were OURS. 

There was no doubt in my mind at that moment that Heavenly Father sent you to us. You looked so chubby and cute then. When you were about a week and half old, and had finally gained back the weight you lost your first week, I was holding you up in just a diaper and you were squirming around. You looked so much like you did in your first moment of life and all the tears I had shed when you were born came rushing out all over again. Even now as I write this and think about those first few moments we had as a new little family, I'm fighting back the lump in my throat.

I love the smell of your little head and seriously think they should bottle that smell. It would fly off the shelves. I can't get enough of it. 

Even when I'm exhausted and you just won't go to sleep, there's nothing quite like feeling your fuzzy little head on my cheek and taking as much of that amazing smell in as I can. 

There are several times through out each day when I am holding you and I just am overcome with love for you that I just need to squeeze you and kiss your little cheeks or your chubby little neck. I am constantly yelling to your Dad to look at you and how cute you are. He never disagrees.

One of my favorite things is the smiles you make when you're sleeping. Almost every time you fall asleep a huge smile creeps across your face in the moment when you finally close your eyes. It is like your body is just so happy to finally give in to the sleep. 

Over the last several days you've started smiling for real sometimes but just for me. It is the best thing in the world and melts my heart each precious time it happens. 
I fall in love with you a little more every time your eyes light up and that huge, adorable smile creeps out.

You are freakishly strong. Seriously. You've been able to hold your head up since we were in the hospital and have just been getting stronger and stronger as the weeks go by. Your arms are so strong that when I have to forcibly move them to get the out of the way for you to eat. You will try and shove your hands in your mouth with your bottle and it never works out. It really takes some effort to work against your strength.

 We call you our little monkey because you are constantly making little monkey sounds, even while you are sleeping.

Your dad and I love you so much and we are overcome with gratitude for your arrival in our family. I have said many times that you were worth the wait and I would do everything all over again to have you. You have made us so incredibly happy and I hope you will always know how much we wanted you. 

You win the hearts of everyone who meets you. I may be a little biased, but you really are a beautiful baby and even though you're still pretty much still just a lump of baby, you'll already a little charmer.

Payton, thanks for coming into our life and letting us be your parents. I couldn't imagine life without you.

Love,
Mom

The Nursery

When we found out we would have a baby placed in our family, and not knowing the gender... I decided to go with bright, bold colors so that a little girl or little boy would fit well in this room. I searched and searched the internet and fell in love with the owl prints that I have hanging in the room and decided to have an owl themed nursery. The room is nothing too fancy, but I think it's welcoming and if I have to go in that room all hours of the night, I better like what I look at, ha ha!

Baby Shower

I have been blessed with an amazing sister in law. I don't even consider Heather my sister in law. She is just my sister. I thank Heavenly Father that my brother married her, because she has become one of my greatest confidants and friends. As soon as there was word that Payton would be joining us, Heather started planning a baby shower... and when Heather does something-- she does it OUT OF THIS WORLD! Seriously. Incredible. She should start a business in event planning/party planning.

The shower was so much fun. I got to see some life long friends, and have them meet our little Payton. He was a hit & everyone fell in love. I am so grateful for all these amazing women in my life who were able to come. Here are a few pictures of the decor and people that were at the shower. My friend Tracey (an amazing photographer) took some pics at the shower as well... thank goodness cause I really didn't take very many!

It was a day to remember, that is for sure.

Hello...

Hi my name is Payton and I am getting fatter every day. My mom loves it! The end.

First 2 weeks in Pictures

As you can tell... He was asleep for a good portion of the first two weeks of his life ha ha

Utah Trip 2011

I am only a little over a month late on this post but better late than never, right? We took our annual trip to Utah to visit the Brown side of the family & some of the Nelson extended family & even managed to see a couple of friends along the way. It was such a great time and we wish we had more than a week and a half to see everyone. It's crazy to think next year we will have a baby to bring with us! Highlights from our trip:

-Visiting Logan & seeing all of Cami's special clients/co-workers she adores!
-Catching up with Zak & Kellee and seeing their new baby girl Kate (Payton's future girlfriend)
-Fireworks/BBQ with Cami's grandparents/aunt &uncles/cousins/Little brother Brett
-running in the mountains
-Brown family reunion up Cedar Mountain in an awesome cabin.
-Cave hiking
-Pedicures with my SIL Beth and my two beautiful nieces
-many, many late nights laughing and just being together as a family.

We loved our time with the family and wish we all lived closer, but it's so nice to know that no matter how far we live from each other, some things never change (:

Complete

I was texting my Mom today about Payton and how he has been kinda gassy and how we have had to go to the store in the middle of the night for gas drops and different formula and how tired I am. And her response of course was to say how sorry she was... and then it came to me how much I love being this tired. I love being covered in formula and baby spit and not showering til late in the afternoon... I have seriously never been happier. My life feels complete now. Geoff and I always felt a void in our home and Payton was the missing puzzle piece. I think everyday this week I have had a moment where tears were just streaming down my face because I am overcome with love and gratitude for my baby boy. I would go through the pain and agony of the last 4 years again and again to have him. It makes me think about why Heavenly Father gives us certain trials... and now I know with a certainty that this trial was meant to be so that we could be with Payton when all is said and done.