strength

I about cried today when i bought a pair of size 8/10 pants from anthropologie.

it dawned on me. six years ago, i used to wear a size 18/20 pants.

and even though there are many frustrating things about my body as of late, i am so very grateful for my healthy body and for how strong it has become.

heavenly father has blessed me beyond what i deserve.

No blog, No facebook

After my monthly melt-down for obvious reasons (yes, I am a freak... at least I can admit it!) geoff and i had a long talk about some things that are getting to me. i guess i am constantly comparing myself to others after being on facebook and reading blogs... i am constantly thinking about how i am now 26 with no kids and how behind i feel because all i see is what others are doing and how many kids they have and how big their house is and yada yada. these little things add up and are really damaging to my way of thinking and my spirituality.

so being as clever as he is, he suggested i take a break from facebook and blogging to see if it helps improve with how i feel about life and so i am going to take his challenge so for at least 2 weeks i am going to take a little bit of a break from the internet world and just focus on me and my relationship with my father in heaven. i think i will enjoy the break from all the stuff that distracts me from real life but that doesn't mean i want to lose touch with everyone, so please feel free to email me at camibrown84@gmail.com

Also, if you need a good pick me up, check out my cousin Sarah's blog on self esteem and true beauty. it always makes me feel better after reading her posts. Hope all is well with all of you and life is treating you kindly. (:

Spring Break 2010

Geoff and I decided that this year for Spring Break we would go and see things in Texas that he had yet to see... so we were all over the place last week! We went to the Houston Livestock show & rodeo, San Antonio and of course.. the beach! It was a great week but I feel like I needed another week off before going back to work today

Geoff and I soaking in the Texas sun-- it is so beautiful here!

Geoff and Abbi flying a kite on the beach

Snuggling my favorite 4 year old

Geoff and I on the San Antonio Riverwalk Cruise Boat

Walking around the beautiful San Antonio River-walk

Me, my parents and my lil sis @ the Alamo

Geoff and I in front of the Alamo

On the San Antonio temple grounds

Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo-- so much fun!

How cute is this little girl? Can't get enough of her!

Abbi's 4th Bday!

My favorite little girl turned FOUR last weekend?! Where has time gone? We had an awesome family party at my parents house. I made her a Mickey Mouse cake for her "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse birthday party". She was spoiled rotten but she is cute so she deserves it, right?

My little Ellie

7 weeks old and already breaking hearts. And yes, she began smiling at 5 weeks old. Like REAL smiles. She is already advanced like her big sister. Yes, I can brag because I am their aunt. (:

Hurray!!!

Today prayers have been answered for Geoff and I.

I have been job hunting for the past 2-3 weeks in a very specific job field. Instead of working in an office environment, I decided to hold out and look for a job that i would be truly happy in and we all know that is in the special eduction field. The school districts are REALLY hard to get into, as they usually hire within, so I was getting very discouraged.

BUT TODAY I GOT A JOB!! I will be a lead aide specialist in an inclusive 5th/6th grade special ed classroom! I am so excited! Not only is the pay not too shabby, but I get all the benefits of working for a school district-- paid summers/spring break/holiday break off which is great with Geoff being a teacher! Great health insurance benefits (which we desperately want and need right now!)

I am overwhelmed with gratitude to my Heavenly Father. He has taught me so much humility lately and really blessed me with so much. I can hardly wait to get back into the special ed field as it has been almost 2 months since I quit my job in Utah. I am so grateful for good days like today that make all those rough moments quickly fade away!

Picture Perfect Day

Today was such a great day... the weather was 70 degrees, sunny and just pure awesomeness. Geoff and I are watching our niece Abbi Lynn and decided to take advantage of such great weather and went to Market Street Square (a big outdoor/indoor/restaurant area that has boats that go around the lake and river area... Abbi was in heaven!)

We had lunch by the ducks, went to the outdoor mall area and walked on the trails around the lake. We love having Abbi come up and stay with us, and I am pretty confident she has a great time too (:

someone is being sneaky...

One of the highlights of my day is going out to the mailbox to see what the mailman has brought us. I have several magazine subscription thanks to mycokerewards.com (it pays to be a diet coke addict). Much to my surprise, I had TWO magazines waiting for me--- "Fitness" and "shape". SCORE!!

Then I dug a little deeper in the mailbox and realized there was a package and it was addressed to me.

I opened it and it was this shabby apple dress wrapped in the beautiful green tissue paper they always have around their beautiful dresses.

I was a little puzzled as I had not ordered one. There was a note enclosed that said "Hope this brightens your day. From, Someone who loves you". And that was it. I at first thought it was Geoff but he reassured me it wasn't so I wanted to thank whoever sent me this dress. It did bring a big smile to my face, not just because it is beautiful but more because of the generous thought and effort someone made to make me feel better. So thank you anonymous friend of mine, thank you.

Infertile Mer-tile continued...

i am up really late and have been tossing and turning in my bed. i have had some more questions as of late on what is going on with the Brown's road to baby making after our 2+ years of trying to conceive. I won't beat around the bush... just in the last couple of months we had our third unsuccessful pregnancy. i have been really quiet about it because i just get tired of wallowing in it all.. but with so many people concerned for us, i thought it would be best to let it be known.

it sucks and becomes harder each time. i have honestly never known such pain and disappointment. sometimes i just feel so hopeless and stuck. this trial is completely out of my control and that is the hardest part-- letting go of my pride and putting it ALL in the lord's hands. even with how awful and terrible all of this has been i can honestly say i have never felt such greater love either.

we are hoping that some new doctors here in houston will be able to shed some light on how to handle our situation and where to go from here. it is a super expensive process so we have to save up some more money before moving forward. the desire to be a mom is getting stronger each and every day. sometimes i wonder what i am supposed to learn from all of this... but then i look at my sweet kind and incredible husband and know that heavenly father loves us and will take care of us somehow someday in his own way and in his own time. i have many many fits and melt-downs. almost on a weekly basis. but i am surviving and trying to see all the good in my life. and honestly, i am so incredibly blessed.

here are 10 things i am grateful for this week:

1. a husband who knows just what to say to calm me and gives me the best hugs

2. a mom who always listens and cries with me

3. a dad who writes me amazing letters that reassures me

4. a little brother who is my best friend and prays for me

5. a little sister who makes me laugh

6. an older brother who lets me steal his beautiful daughters

7. the scriptures that calm my soul

8. prayer to lift me up when i am down

9. many, many friends who let me know they are thinking of me

10. a heavenly father who never leaves my side through it all.

I am now the proud owner of...

MICHAEL BUBLE' CONCERT TICKETS!!!!!!! (Geoff gave them to me for Valentines!!)

...for anyone who knows me well enough, knows how big of a deal this is to me. Other than my wedding day, going to this concert could be one of the best days ever for me! I have been a wee-bit obsessed with Michael Buble' for about 6 years now! So excited I can hardly stand it.