Utah Prom:
In Utah, teens ask out their dates in these very elaborate ways (something I never really understood but it's cool I guess) like decorating their whole room in some elaborate way and then the person getting asked has to "answer" them in another elaborate way. Average money spent on prom in Utah (from what I have found anyway) is about 100-200. That includes the dress (alot of girls here borrow and swap dresses with friends, sisters, cousins etc) and a lot of them will make dinner at their house and then play games at their house after the dance or even go to a movie. (Geoff and I went to a midnight showing of Iron Man last year with about 50 high schoolers in their prom get-up last year. It was interesting for sure). I interviewed about 30 girls here and 75% of those girls went on some sort of diet to make sure they looked their best for prom. One even took laxatives for a few days before the Prom to be extra skinny. That made me pretty sad for her. I interviewed about 30 male teens in Utah and found that for about 80% of them that looks are their number one criteria for choosing a prom date. *side-note: Last night Geoff and I went out to eat and there was like 30 high school kids in their Prom get up and I have to say that Utah prom dresses are very modest yet kinda ugly. I was baffled at what was in style here. A lot of them looked like wedding dresses that are lime green or hot pink. But at least they are modest. Anyways, that's besides the point.
Texas Prom:
Most kids ask their date out through text or just by asking them out in the hallways at school. It's def. not a big ordeal like in Utah. The average money spent on the prom was around 400-500. Big difference from Utah. Most adolescents in Texas will go to some fancy restaurant in a limo, go to the dance for a little while and then go to a beach house or some other fancy party afterwords. Out of 30 girls I interviewed in Texas 50% went on diets or exersized a lot before the dance to be sure to look their best. Something interesting though is that the average girl spent about 3 1/2 hours getting ready (this includes getting their hair/nail/makeup done) where in Utah is was about 2. When asking the males in Texas what their number one criteria for chosing a date, about 60% also said looks. Lots of the dresses are VERY skanky. More skin showing the better.
My conclusion for all of this is this: high school sucks.
Just kidding.
But really, I find it very sad about how no matter where you live, there is so much emphasis on looks and being attractive physically. So many times when I was interviewing all these adolescents, I wanted to tell them they are are wasting so much time, money and effort on ONE night that you won't really care about years later. I also wanted to scold all the girls for focusing so much on looks but who would I be to judge them? I am probably just as harsh on myself. What can we do as women to not let ourselves think that way?
Anyway, just found some of my findings interesting and wanted to share. My point is not to rag on either state's proms. Both have good and bad to offer and the overall thing I learned is that yes, these dances do have an effect on self esteem of adolescents. I am just SO glad I am not in high school anymore. You couldn't pay me to go back in time and re-live those days!
10 comments:
wow... that is INTERESTING! I would have thought the based on looks thing and all that would be swapped... Crazy how all of that is between Texas and utah; I would have thought everything but the asking out and after parties to be vice versa. Thanks for doing the research!
Yeah that is interesting. It is def easier to find a prom dress in Utah than TX that is modest. But you are totally right at how they look like wedding dresses. Its hard in Houston because nearly everything is spagetti straps or strapless.
I have serious issues with the institution of high school. I think it teaches our children skewed priorities and principles. Emphasizes things that do not matter. More so than any other age our high schoolers are coddled and basically taught that they are the most important and only their needs matter. We also show them that high school is "real life."
Yes I'm ranting. But from your comments I think you can see that. I am a reasonably social person, less now than I used to be, but I still am beyond glad I did high school in only three years. There just wasn't much purpose or reason there. It was more about getting through. College for me taught me more b/c I had to do things or they would not happen. I had to make myself go to class and choose to make good grades. I wasn't going to get into college without working on it.
I've seen homeschooling be a success and a failure. I know many who are against it because the kids aren't socialized. But if socialized is a swearing, back mouthing teen who expects things given to him then I don't want that. I'd rather have the child who interacts well with all ages, adults included, who understands about being self motivated and thinking outside the required box. The child who started their first job early in life and learned a fantastic work ethic.
I believe high school is a joke.
Ok, I think that is enough for now. Great job with the study.
Call me silly but I think Utah prom dresses are beauriful AND modest!!! I love the bright colors!! I think it's fun to go all out for just one night. Your only young once... Might as well make it memorable!
i have noticed that prom dresses are very bright colors and not just in utah, but here they really do look like wedding dresses (most of the ones i've seen elsewhere are way short and skimpy). it is quite sad how big of a deal it is. it is fun to get dressed up and have a fancy dinner and such, but i totally agree that everyone could settle down and not be so focused on looks and spending so much money. i remember how big of a deal going to prom was for me...
definitely makes you think about what you want to teach your own children, huh?
thanks for sharing this!
I loved my high school proms. I thought it was fun the way we asked and answered to dances. It was creative and made things more interesting. I do agree with you on the dresses. Gross. And don't get me wrong, I would never want to re-live high school, but proms were some of my good memories from that time (that is, when I got asked...). I think your research shows that things are slowly but surely changing for the worse for these poor teenagers. Not that they weren't before, but things are getting out of control superficial. That's sad.
Cami, I love your conclusion! ha ha! I agree!
This sounds like a very interesting/fun project. What class did you do this for?
And I agree, a lot of the utah prom dresses are just ugly. Surely there can be cuter dresses that are still modest!
I liked the part about you wanting to tell those high school kids what was up. I already feel old because I have completely given up on teenagers already...probably because I work for the juvenile court. Reading this makes me want to shoot at teenagers on my lawn.
Talking to alot of people here in Utah, they also have "day dates" on prom day. They have a fun playful date during the day, go home get dressed, then have dinner and go to prom. To me it sounded fun unless you don't like your date and don't want to spend too much time with him. As for high school, I loved it. I wouldn't want to go back but I had alot of friends and tons of fun. I guess I'm one of the few who had a good HS experience. (Oh, and P.S. my dress was $450...so not worth it!)
That's interesting! I have to say prom in WA is the same as in Utah. Even every dance. My sister and her friends come up with the most unusual ways to ask the guys to Tolo. And when J went to Prom all the girls looked hideous in neon colored dressed. Weird. That was a few years ago now too. Too bad it's sticking around! I always thought it was interesting that when I went to prom in Tx with Micheal me and all the other mormon girls wore dressed with no sleeves and that was "OK". My mom was even ok with it. Then we move back to WA and like everyone was sewing their own dresses(ew) and they HAD to have sleeves or you'd be talked about(in the mormon community). My mom all of a sudden flipped out and I had to cover up. Not that I'm compaining. Just think it's interesting. I think the only way for women to change the way we think is to change the way we see ourselves. To love ourselves for who we are. Once we do that we can finally go on with life. I'm working on it!
Post a Comment