Some of you know that Geoff and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year now. Had two miscarriages along the way and many devastating visits of the "monthly" visitor. Today was one of those days where tears came from frustration and dissapointment from something I have never wanted more and yet seems SO out of reach.
Thank goodness this happened today:
Conference.
Just what the doctor ordered.
I think I needed a kick in the pants to humble me. Every month, after taking numerous pregnancy tests I have a pitty-party and always ask questions like "Why is it that I take extra good care of my body, exersize 6 days a week, eat extremely healthy and people who live really unhealthy lifestyles get pregnant without hardly trying? Why is it that I am financially responsible, educated and a hard worker and married to an amazing man and teenagers get pregnant from a one night stand?"
I didn't get answer to any of those questions today. But what I did learn today from two talks in particular (Elder Scott and Pres. Eyring) that there is something I need to learn from this. Just as Elder Scott knew he needed to learn things from the death of his wife and 2 young children, so do I. I also learned that I need to reach out to others rather than feeling sorry for myself. For some reason, Heavenly Father is wanting us to wait a little longer to be parents and I know there are other women out there who are going through the same predicament that I am or worse. I also learned that if I doubt, there is no room for faith. I have to have faith that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and he will never forsake me.
So that is what I am going to do. I am going to look for opportunities to serve, and be a light to others and learn something while I wait for the blessing of a child. There will be bumps along the road but thank goodness I have a wonderful prophet and other church leaders who are a constant reminder of how to handle life's greatest dissapointments and turn to the Savior.
12 comments:
Cami, when the time comes i know you will be an amazing and loving mother. and who knows! maybe you will be blessed with twins!! :) you are great and know that so many people look up to you! I am one of those people. Thanks for being a great example to me!
what is your e-mail?
cami.brown@aggiemail.usu.edu
You are such a strong person and I know you will be an awesome mother when Heavenly Father says it's the right time. Faith is probably the most important thing you can have and know that things have a way of working out the way they should. You are such a great example to others who are struggling. It's hard to press forward but doing so will strengthen your faith in knowing that the Lord will take care of you. You are always in my prayers!
And you know not to laugh about the "twin" thing b/c it totally runs in your family! Haha!
Cami and Geoff,
Jared and I experienced a lot of the same thoughts and feelings when we were trying to get pregnant. It took us a year and a half until we found out that we were expecting Kobe. Like you know, Heavenly Father's timing is different than ours. You guys are living the gospel and following his plan and the time will come. I also think the adversary is really working on discouraging families. Just take the time enjoy one another!
Cami,
Wow! I'm glad you got such a peace and inspiration. I get scared that I'll wait to have kids and then I wont be able to have them. But then I think there's nothing I can do, because I'm not ready to have a baby. and Yet I think, so many try and some get it right of the bat and some don't. I wonder How it will be with me.
Cami,
Wow! I'm glad you got such a peace and inspiration. I get scared that I'll wait to have kids and then I wont be able to have them. But then I think there's nothing I can do, because I'm not ready to have a baby. and Yet I think, so many try and some get it right of the bat and some don't. I wonder How it will be with me.
Cami, you truly are an inspiration and a great example to me and many others you come in contact with. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and for your strong faith!! Your time will come and Heavenly Father knows your heart! It is hard that it's not always on our time but I have no doubt that the Lord knows YOU and when the time does come you will be an AMAZING mother! You are in my thoughts and prayers cousin! Much love!!
I agree with everyone else that you are a great example and that you will make a great mother. I'm sorry about my comment on facebook the other day. Sometimes I like to vent on there, but you never know who you will affect. Thank you for sharing a bit of conference. I don't tak note so it's hard to remember some even when I absolutely loved it while listening. I think it's great that you are applying them to your life to help you overcome your difficulties. I am also trying to apply them to overcome my own. I have known several women our age who have had hard times(sometimes extremely so) getting pregnant, but they have all since been blessed with children. When your time comes I know you will cherish your baby all the more. =) I think it's also good to remember that while it's devastating that so many women have a hard time having chilren, there are those who, no matter what they do, keep getting pregnant over and over without sane gaps between. And that, though different, is a hard trial as well. You are amazing. And in this time, while you are trying to have children, do everything you and Geoff like to do that would be much more difficult with kids. I'm sure you've already heard that plenty of times, but it really does become a lot more difficult when you have kids! Hope you have a great day!
Just wanted to thank you for sharing your insights. I think I understand how you feel... I have really come to believe that we (people in general, or maybe you and me :) ) need each other. I know that the most important thing I can be is a mother. But I have also realized that there are some people I couldn't have helped or opportunities that I would not have had to serve if were a mother right now. Again, not to say that motherhood is less important, but that I guess He needs me to do something else first.
Cami, I love you! Brock and I also went through 2 miscarriages, and it took us a year and a half to finally get pregnant with Dane. I totally understand your feelings, because I had the same ones myself. It's really hard to not understand why. You will be amazing, and your little one will be so lucky to have you as parents. If you ever need to chat, I'm definitely here.
Camille Nelson Brown ... you are going to make an amazing mama. All the waiting you are doing will even make you THAT much better because you have wanted it for so long and it was withheld from you. I hope the waiting isn't much longer though! :) I understand a bit about waiting, and I know it's hard. :) Best wishes, love!
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