and so it begins

I have decided I want to remember every detail of this whole process of adoption and will soon be starting an adoption blog, but for now, I will write my thoughts and feelings on this blog.

I can't even begin to describe the roller-coaster of emotions and heartache it has taken to get to this point... Three miscarriages and failed infertility treatments (not the doctors fault, just not in the cards for us at this time), and lots and lots of tears shed... and I can tell you it feels SO good to let that all go and begin this new step towards starting a family. Since we were first married, I have always said to Geoff that I would love to adopt someday. I have seen the blessings first hand with cousins who were adopted and friends who have adopted. Adoption is such a beautiful thing and I can't wait for the day when the phone rings saying we have been chosen. I get chills just thinking about it (:

We just submitted the first part of our adoption application today with our "down-payment" as well. It was the most exhilarating huge chunk of change I have ever spent in my life! Tears came to my eyes when I was able to get online and complete the first portion of our application for approval. I feel so at peace with this decision and truly feel so many blessings are coming our way because of this decision. We have fasted and prayed countless times and it was not up until about 2 weeks ago that we truly felt this is the route Heavenly Father wanted us to go through.

I had a friend ask me something the other day that really made me think. She asked that if I could have foreseen all of this and just skipped over the last few years of trying on our own and gone right to adoption, would I have? The question really made me think. As hard as it has all been, I think I would still want those experiences to have happened. Those moments, especially after each miscarriage, were some of the most spiritual moments of my life. I have vivid memories the most overwhelming feelings of love from my Father in Heaven and because of that, my testimony was truly strengthened.

We have much to do before we are officially approved. We have to still get finger-printed, FBI background check, get our CPR certification renewed (both about to expire), Physicals from our Doctor... and about a bajillion other documents... but I have never been more excited for any of these things (and I swear I have been fingerprinted about a million times in my life for employment purposes as have Geoff...) because I know how well worth it will all be.

I am so thankful to everyone for being so supportive and cheering us on through this process. We are SO incredibly blessed with friends and family who pray for us and love us more than we deserve!